how to tell a child?

mart · Post by **mart** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:21 pm

So we will be saying goodbye to Logan this week. We have had him for just shy of 5 wonderful years. He was our best Christmas present. My husband and I have known his time was drawing near, and recognize that it is now time. However, we now have two non-fur-kids, and are unsure as to how to explain things to them. Our oldest is almost 3 and will be very aware of his absence, while the youngest is only 1, and will probably not understand.
Any tips on how to prepare the 3 year old for this? We get "why" and "how come" for just about everything in the day, and want to be prepared, but not go over his head.
Also, do you think we should bring our long term foster with to the apt? She is VERY clingy, and I worry that she will search the house/yard for him...
Thanks!

britlover · Post by **britlover** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:49 pm

Wish I had advice for you, but wanted to say how sorry I am. Hugs to you and your family, and love to Logan.

gingersnap · Post by **gingersnap** » Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:47 pm

I am so sorry. I know what a tough decison that is to make. I don't have much advice either, but I know my godson loved to have the book Dog Heaven by Cynthis Rylant read to him over and over after he had to say good bye to his dog. It's a very sweet picture book and seemed to help him understand it all better.

Cindy · Post by **Cindy** » Wed Oct 26, 2011 5:03 am

I am sorry to hear about Logan. Guess any amount of time is NEVER EVER long enough. My thoughts are with you and your family.

mkilcz · Post by **mkilcz** » Wed Oct 26, 2011 9:19 am

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news about Logan.
My youngest child was 3 when our first brittany, Rebel, passed away. I would suggest keeping it very simple. Explain the situation, acknowledge feelings, offer comfort... Follow his lead. Children are pretty resiliant, and often accept things more easily than adults. When Rebel died, I was a mess, and my boys (9 and 10 yrs old at the time) came up with the idea of making a photo/scrapbook memorial album for her. This activity promoted discussion and was a great way for all of us to work through our sad feelings. Even my daughter was able to contribute with pictures that she drew! Now, 10 years later, I like to pull out that album every now and then, and look back on great memories.

AuntieMom · Post by **AuntieMom** » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:28 pm

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about Logan.

I do not have experience in explaining a pet death to a toddler but think keeping it short and simple is good. As to taking the long term foster with you ... My thought is if Logan finds comfort in her presence then yes take her. Otherwise, leave her behind.

rtropeano · Post by **rtropeano** » Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:07 pm

I'm sorry to hear about Logan. Making the decision is never easy. you'll be in my thoughts.
Rose

Post by **Barb Wright** » Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:14 am

Oh, that is such sad news about Logan. If he has let you know it is time then his transition to forever peace will be a journey set in motion by love. We all face this if we choose to live with dogs and I think all of us agree that the "good days" with a dog far outnumber the "bad days", and we would not trade one second of the good ones. Hugs to you and your family, all our hearts are with you now.

Have never had to explain this sort of event to a child, so will leave that to those who have. As far as your foster dog, if the dog goes with you everywhere as family I would take her with you on the trip. She will be aware of the emotions that will be surrounding you all so you can probably expect her to be edgy or nervous, but calming her will probably help you stay calm as well. If she does not like going into the vet office I think at that point I would leave her in the car....dunno, you might need to work that out which ever way seems least stressful for everyone. Most dogs get past the loss of a buddy fairly fast, extra attention, extra exercise, not leaving her alone for a few days, that sort of thing helps them "move on".

So sorry this day is upon you....as always, remember the good days.

Annabelle · Post by **Annabelle** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:23 pm

Hi
I found this book at a local store. We haven't had to deal with this particular situation with our 2 year old boy, but one of our dogs is 13yrs so I wanted to be prepared. It's a happy but sad read and I like it. Our condolences.
http://www.amazon.ca/Ill-Always-Love-Ha ... 0517572656

Ann

mart · Post by **mart** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:10 pm

Well, it actually went better then expected. Since we foster, apparently the idea of dogs not being arround anymore is not that big of a deal to a little kid. He asked where Logan was, then on his own decided that Logan went to live with someone else. We told him that he went to live with God, and that was that. Every few days he askes where is is, but then comes back with "silly me, he is living with God now"
I suspect that it may be harder for him to comprehend in the future, but I will take what I can get.
Thanks for all your support!

kat · Post by **kat** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:05 pm

You're right, we take what we can get sometimes. That being said, I am still SO sorry for your loss. So many of us have enjoyed hearing about Logan, he was a lucky boy to have had you. Hang in there and please accept my condolences.

rtropeano · Post by **rtropeano** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 9:54 pm

So sorry about Logan's passing, glad that you little one is taking it okay.
Rose

Humphrey's Mom · Post by **Humphrey's Mom** » Sun Nov 06, 2011 12:41 pm

Sending sympathy and puppy prayers for your loss.

Mary

AuntieMom · Post by **AuntieMom** » Sun Nov 06, 2011 2:26 pm

I am so sorry about Logan. It was time but that does not make it any easier.

American Brittany Rescue

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